Friday, December 15, 2017

Trusting in God’s Timing

Post by: Kristan Marsden

When people find out that I am a Special Education teacher they almost always follow up with something along the lines of, “Oh, you must be so patient.” But I’m not. I’m the kind of person that skips ahead to the last chapter of a book because I can’t wait to find out what happens. If my husband records the Bronco’s game to watch later, I check the score so I know who wins before we even start watching. I hate not knowing what will happen, especially in my own life. The bible tells us many times throughout to trust in God and His timing. 1 Peter 5:6-7 reminds us to “6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” Not surprisingly, I struggle with this.

I love the idea that God has amazing lives in store for each of us, if we just have the patience to wait for him to perfectly author our stories as only He can. Each chapter gives us experiences and teaches us what we need to know for the next chapter. We move through them in order becoming closer to God and our authentic selves as we go. But lately, I find myself wanting to flip ahead a few chapters to see what happens next.

I recently made the decision to leave my teaching position to stay home with my kids full-time. It wasn’t a decision I came to lightly. A lot of my sense of purpose in life is tied to my job and I feel the void when I’m not working. I felt a gentle nudge, a reminder that my career will always be there, but my children will grow up, the time with them will be lost. I committed to staying home for two years until both of our kids are in school.

I only lasted about two months before I started searching job postings in my former school district. As grateful as I felt to have the chance to be home with my kids, I struggled to find a greater purpose. I refused to accept the financial limitations of living on one income. I fretted over the gap on my resume and my ability to get re-hired when the time came. So, I applied for a job that seemed perfect. When I showed up to the interview and saw that two former colleagues and friends were on the interview committee I knew that God had made it happen. This was my next chapter.

Only I didn’t get the job. I was disappointed but, mostly, I was confused. I was sure that this job had been part of God’s plan for me. I struggled to understand until I realized that I had succumbed to my old habit of skipping ahead to the next chapter. Rather than reading the wisdom in each word He is writing for me, I was trying to move on to the next chapter without fully understanding the one I’m in.

As I watch my kids rush to the advent calendar every morning to count down the days until Christmas, it serves as a good reminder to trust in God’s timing. I remind them to slow down, notice all the beautiful Christmas lights, hear the joyful music, and truly grasp the Christmas story. They remind me to savor this precious season and move into the New Year with conviction: to linger over every page of my story, read and re-read the words He writes and trust that God, the greatest author, has written one amazing, perfectly-timed story.

“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Kristan spends her days living and learning with her two young daughters, Shay and Grace. In her downtime, you’ll find her running (preferably with friends), skiing, struggling through the occasional yoga class and escaping to the mountains every chance she gets. As a teacher taking time off to raise her own kids, she enjoys volunteering in the Children’s Ministry as well as writing about her experiences as a parent and educator. She and her husband, Britton, have been members of BUMC since 2011.

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