So, I have been watching my “blog due” date approach for several weeks now with a little bit of dread because I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to blog about. I usually get a light bulb when I walk the dog or when I’m driving to work, but this time; nada, nothing. I was fresh out of good ideas. So I decided to head on over to the church’s website and pull up Ken’s latest sermon. I was unable to go to church this last week (it was daylight savings day after all) so I thought I’d see what I had missed.
There’s Ken, trying to get people to sing a song from the Baha Men, to no avail, which is pretty funny, but I digress. He begins talking about reconciliation. He asks the congregation if they had ever made a decision that they regretted. I know I have. Boy howdy; have I ever. I’ve made decisions that I wasn’t sure how to get out of once I had made them; life changing decisions that would not only affect me, but others around me. These decisions had consequences and I had to learn how to live with them, how to learn from them, how to reconcile them.
As I listened to Ken’s sermon, some of these decisions came into my mind and I began to recall the feelings that were associated with them, both during the times that I was living them and now, years later. Some of the decisions I have made were spur of the moment, dumb decisions, born from some need to prove something or try something new. Others were thought out, long processes that didn’t yield the results that I had hoped for. Either way, some of these decisions left me with feelings of regret, unease, anguish and dissatisfaction, even to this day.
Then Ken said something that really hit me. He said that if you find yourself standing in the proverbial room that you feel you don’t belong in, find the door. And don’t ever forget that Jesus is that door. That’s the key to it all. God forgives us our trespasses and we need to be able to forgive ourselves of those trespasses as well. So find your door and walk through. I’ve needed to hear that for a while now. I’ve been beating myself up for a decision that I made not too long ago and I need to forgive myself and move on. I need to reconcile it.
After I finished listening to the sermon something else came into my mind. When I was 7 or 8 years old I learned a Bible verse from the Book of Psalms. It has stuck with me all these years because it was taught to me as a song. The verse has always had a lot of meaning to me, but now, after hearing that I need to reconcile my life’s decisions, it has a power to it, a force. It’s something that I wake up hearing in my head because it is so, so true. “This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.” Every. Single. Day. No matter what.